Here’s an interesting exercise. Think back to you in your 20s (assuming you are not still in your 20s) … what kind of sexual person were you then. And how have you evolved into the sexual person you are now?
My wife and I did this last night. It was a special anniversary for us and it provided a good opportunity to reminisce back over the history of our relationship. And what better topic to reminisce on than sex.
I suspect for many people – it was certainly this way for us – the early years of a relationship involve a lot of sex. But in those early years, as you are still trying to figure out who you are sexually and you are developing your relationship, the sex can be pretty ‘basic’. While we were very sexual in our earlier years, we were not overly sexually open.
So, this is an interesting discussion… at what point, if ever, did your relationship start to incorporate
- toys or other ‘peripherals’ that would enhance your sex life
- new positions or acts that might be considered kinky (eg. light/heavy bondage, anal)
- watching porn together or going to a strip club or a nude beach
- sharing sexual fantasies, or acknowledging sexual attractions, that may not involve your partner
- having consensual sexual play with others
Not to get into the details, but it was really interesting and fun to see how our sexual lives have progressed and evolves over the years. We have friends who have been super sexual open and experimental since the beginning of their relationship. That’s not us. We have grown, slowly over time, into the sexual people we are. And tracking back over that growth was really fun.