As an ongoing series, I seeking inspiration from a podcast I used to enjoy – Sex is Fun – and commenting on the topics they discussed. This cast – Talking Dirty.
When it comes to dirty talk, I think it comes down to three key questions: (i) do you like it; (ii) can you do it; (iii) what type do you like.
So first off, do you like it? Personally, I love dirty talk. For me, sex is as cerebral as it is physical. Fortunately, I am not all that bright, so some filthy talk or sexy story is all the cerebral engagement I require.
Not everyone likes dirty talk. I people for whom dirty talk undermines the intimacy of sex. They feel that by evoking other sexual images or ideas, the sexual moment is either cheapened or depersonalized. A close friend who has a partner with a particularly vivid imagination said they would weave these incredible fantasies and scenarios whenever they had sex. I know she worried that, while she enjoyed the sex, she worried that it was becoming too dependent on these stories — almost imaginary. I get this; I don’t feel that myself, but I get it.
Question to: are you good at dirty talk? I will admit, I am not that great at it. I can manage it for a while, but I find I bore myself and, most importantly, I don’t say much in the heat of the sexual moment that I wouldn’t say another time.
And that – the ability to surprise your partner with what comes out of your mouth – is a key to a really good dirty talker. When my wife says she wants “to get fucked like a little slut” it is sexy because it is so out of her normal character. It is, quite literally, the last thing most people who know her would expect her ever to mutter. And this makes it hot – that she is so engaged in the moment and the act of sex that she would say something like this.
Finally, what type of dirty talk do you like? This I leave to you. Personally, I like stories and fantasies. My favourite – stories of either my wife with another woman or her masturbating. She likes threesome and group sex stories.
And you? What do you like?