I like to own my sexuality, and project it whenever I feel I can. Of course, there are times and places where this isn’t appropriate (like with your kids, or within the workplace) – but there are many times when it is, and it feels really fun and empowering.
When I’m feeling happy and sexual, the good feelings seem to radiate off of me in invisible waves. I’ve come to think of this feeling as “shining”. Whenever I’m shining, it’s amazing to see the reactions this creates. People walking by on the street make more eye contact and are quick to share a smile; strangers approach me in the coffee shop and either dish out a compliment or strike up a conversation; and it feels like there’s a hint of possibility crackling in the air all around me. I kid you not – this sexual energy is electric.
This is a relatively new thing for me. I used to keep my sexual thoughts and energy in their own compartment in my brain, letting them out only when I was with my husband, or with sexy friends. There seemed to be a “For His/Their Eyes Only” message stamped on the box and, like a good little rule follower, I obeyed without question. After all, this is what society has brought many of us up to believe, right?
I kind of tripped over the shining phenomenon when once, after an amazing and prolonged night of sex, it just inadvertently kept exuding out of my pores for a couple of days. At first, I thought the additional attention was a coincidence, or maybe a figment of my imagination – but there were enough looks, smiles and interactions that it caught my attention. Slowly, over the next couple of weeks, I let my guard down and let my sexuality escape the confines of that mental box I had constructed, and it felt great. So much so that, this year, one of my New Year’s Resolutions is to “Shine more.”
So try this experiment. Next time you’re somewhere public (but kind of anonymous – like a coffee shop, at the mall, or walking down a busy street), start to think about an explicit and exciting sexual scene – either something you’ve recently done or something you’re fantasizing about. Really seize the mental images and sensations in your mind, and allow them to wash over your body and fill you with sexual energy and a mischievous smile. Don’t contain it, but let the energy flow through you and out into the space around you. Now look around, and see if something appears noticeable to other people. I think you’ll quickly see that others sense something about you and are drawn to it. Go with that feeling and keep shining – our uptight society needs a little lightening up, and each of us can do our part to spread the sexual wealth!