Desperate times call for desperate measures. Of the many challenges over the past few months, keeping our sex lives spicy may seem relatively minor. But its not. A satisfying sex life is essential to our emotional and physical well being. And its key in keeping us connected to our partner… which these days, is so critically important.
But how do you keep things hot? I’ve heard from people repeatedly that, despite having more free time, they are having less sex. And the sex they are having is less interesting. So, I think the first thing to do is to acknowledge this reality. Despite having more time, both the quality and quantity of sex we are having is probably going down. We need to own this, and decide to consciously do something about it.
But what to do? Here is an idea. It may not work for all, but my guess is that if you give it a chance it will work for more of you than you than you may have imagined.
Become a voyeur or exhibitionist for a night. If you’ve not tried it before, you may be surprised at how much the act of watching others have sex – and allowing yourself to be watched – arouses you. The visual amateur porn can be really hot. And the idea that someone is getting off by seeing you… very appealing to many.
There are a few ways to pull this off. There are anonymous websites of course. While I’ve never tried it, I’ve heard Chatterbate is popular. I’m not sure exactly how it works but I suspect it starts with a little back and forth chatting w the couple or individual you meet on the site and then you start having sex, watching each other. You can stay anonymous if you would like by keeping your head out of the frame or you can just go for it.
A better option – in my mind – is to fine friends to do this with. Granted you need a particular kind of close friendship, but you may be surprised at who would be down for this if you’re willing to have the conversation. This method feels more natural. You can start by simply FaceTiming each other and having a drink and chatting. It may help to each be watching a sexy movie or something to help w the mood. And, depending on your views on this, maybe getting a little high. And then you juts let it happen. Sometimes you’re focused on having sex with your partner. Sometimes you’re watching them. Sometimes you are very deliberately putting on a show.
Its kind of awesome.. especially when your options are limited.