‘Nostalgic, romantic, innocent’… when you think about sex in a public place, these descriptors would rarely pops to mind. Sex is public is suppose to be raw, desperate, dirty, taboo. But for me, it takes me back to the earliest stages of my relationship with my wife.. a time of innocence and exploration.
My wife and I had a romantic and sexual relationships that was born from a friendship. We had been close friends for a year.. there was always an attraction but I had a girlfriend, so we were solidly in the BFF category. But, because we knew each other so well and had this unspoken romantic and sexual intrigue, as soon as I broke up with my girlfriend, it was immediately clear we would get together romantically and sexually.
But.. the problem… we had both just returned from a summer travelling together (as friends) and were couch surfing with different friends until our respective apartments became ours in the fall.
So, at the moment we decided to date and release 12 months of pent up sexual energy, we had – literally – no place to lay our heads. So, sex in public places became our only option.
The first night we decided to have sex we were caught – and this is 100% true – twice by the same police officer trying to ‘get in on’ in two different parks in the city. The first time he just urged us to behave and get out the the park; the second time he drove us home. Over the course of a couple weeks, we became really good at finding our way into unused conference rooms at fancy hotels (once a very, very kind concierge gave us a free room for the afternoon); play structures at parks that were not visible from the road; a sailboat on the marina that no one seemed to be watching too closely, and many, many remote running trails.
To this day, I have this wistful romanticized view of public sex. And while I’m sure our sex at the time was often desperate, sometimes dirty, rarely gorgeous… my memories of it are very romantic and beautiful. So, when I hear stories about desperate, random sex-in-public hookups… they honestly do nothing for me. Conversely, I love sexy stories of long, drawn out love making in public, with a real and impeding fear of being caught.
Its interesting how these early experiences can influence our ongoing perception of sexual acts. For me, sex in public will always be strongly desirable (I still love it) but very loving and romantic.