My impression is that, while the theory of sex everyday sounds great, in practice it is more work than fun. On the upside, it seems to help prioritize sex. On the downside, and this seems pretty steep, sex seems to become just another chore that has to be fit in. I sometimes wonder, in these cases, if the scheduled sex is just as stressful and straining as the scheduled everything else that had been preventing sex in the first place.
To be clear, I am not saying that daily sex is a bad thing. It is great – awesome, orgasmic, fantastic – for the couples who really want it and have the time for it. But this is a minority.
So what am I saying… For couples who are having really infrequent sex, ramping up to daily, even for a limited period, is just too much. Life is legitimately busy and many of the non-sex things that keep us busy are legitimately important. Trying to fit in sex every single day, in these cases, can cause more stress than it alleviates. It also, I believe over compensates for the – very legitimate – desire to fix the problem of no sex.
So an alternative…
An orgasm a day.
I believe that sexuality begets sexuality. One of the reasons people stop having sex is they forget how good it feels to have it and they acclimatize to a life absent stimulation, joy and feelings of exhilaration. Having an orgasm every day reminds you that sex feels good and is worth the effort of fitting into your life.
So… an orgasm each day – alone of with partner. Here is why I like it: you feel sexual stimulation everyday and, as I said, I believe sexuality begets more sexuality. Even if many of your orgasms are initially alone, as long as both of you are doing it, it will make you feel more sexual and more likely to start to desire more sex together. This will lead to more sex, because you want more sex and not just because it is on the agenda. You will slowly re-prioritize and balance your life.
The cynic will think – but what if this just leads to a pattern where you stay busy and fit in a quick wank or rub every day. You’re still never having sex – your just masturbators who cross in the hallway as you throw out your kleenex. Maybe. But if you are getting off every day and still have no desire to have sex with your partner, your problem is not sex… your problem is your relationship.
So, all you busy folks, before you go to bed tonight promise me one thing… rub one out.