I had written last week that a friend had asked us to participate in a role playing scenario with them. We agreed, having no idea what this really involved.
So, the plan was, the husband, “G” and I would meet for a drink and get a text saying where we should meet our “dates”. The four of us were to be set up by a mutual friends and this was to be a first meeting between these two yoga friends who were spending the evening in town and wanted to go out.
I am not sure what I was expecting, but my wife and I were game to try — we knew these friends were in a bit of a rut and we wanted to help spice up their relationship a bit and get them out of a day-to-day tedium that was really getting them down. Well, it did NOT work, at least for me.
Firstly, it was really hard. Developing an alternate persona and staying with that was tough. I am unabashedly “myself” and really had a tough time sticking to the new character I had created. But this was my problem – no blame on anyone else for this.
Second problem — it was boring as hell. The scenario our friends played out was completely tedious. Their idea was, I guess, to try to recreate what a first date among 40 year olds, would be exactly like. There was tons of talks on our backstories (for which I was woefully unprepared). Our friends rolled out stories of past failed marriages; one had a child out of wedlock that here brother was raising, the other had an adopted son. My wife and I had taken a decided more whimsical approach — she was a yoga instructor going back to school to learn massage because she liked sensual touch; i was a lost playboy who fell into money and had been trying to figure my life out ever since.
So that was the disconnect. My wife and I thought the evening was about putting on a fun persona and opening the evening to flirtation and sexy discussion that was hard for them in their normal busy lives. They were looking for something very different, but I was not really able to figure out what that was – maybe trying to play out what life might be like if they had made different choices? Maybe just wanting to feel like a first date was like again?? I didn’t know and, as a result, the evening felt very contrived and lurching from misaligned expectation to misaligned expectation. Not horrible, but not real fun.
So, what did I learn
1. if you do roleplay with another couple, make sure you understand well what they want out of it
2. prepare your backstory and allow yourself to get lost in it
All in all, I am glad I tried this but can’t say I really liked it. That said, it could have been fun. If the point was to put on a spicier personality and allow them to let their guards down, I think it could have been quite fun. But it wasn’t. Oh Well.