We had wanted to do something like this for a while. We had roles played a tiny bit in the past, to varying degrees of success. Once, with jus the two of us, we role played a mistress/sub scenario, building it up through texting as my wife retuned from a business trip and then playing out the scenario when she got home… it was fantastic. Our other attempt – with another couple – was less successful. They asked us to help them spice things up a bit by going out to a bar together, putting on made up personas, and pretending we were all on a first ‘blind date’; it really felt awkward.
So, the class seemed like a great idea. Tina started by going through a range of idea that people typically like to role play. This was fascinating. All of the expected scenarios were there – naughty school girl, boss/secretary, promiscuous nanny. There were a few that she said were very, very popular that surprised me a bit – puppy play, pony play.. not totally my thing but it was interesting to hear how common they are.
One thing that was, perhaps, not surprising, was the degree to which many/most of the role play scenarios involve a strong element of power play and power exchange. In almost every scenario, one party is submitting to the dominance of the other. I can totally see this. Within a long term, balanced relationship, it can be very fun to play with that power dynamic. To be able to take control and ask for exactly what you want; or, conversely, to be able to give whatever is asked under the guise of submission. My wife and I have done this a fair bit as [very] amateur BDSMers, but the notion of doing it within a made up persona… I totally get this.
The class also explored some tricks for getting into the mood for role playing. Some elements she emphasized that we found instructive:
- do a little prep – think through the roles you want to play out and prepare some of the scenarios you may want to orchestrate. So, for a dominating boss, for example, you may want to be correcting his/her work and either punishing them for errors or rewarding them for hard work. But the key is to think through some very specific scenarios you may want play out to create that illusion of reality
- find a way to ‘enter’ the scene – you should have some way to indicate that the role play is beginning. It may be showing up in costume, or it may be a phrase you say. Like in the schoolgirl scenario, you may initiate by saying “I’m here for my tutorial sir”.
- accessorize – take the time to get costumes, props, maybe some decorations for your play space… really build the atmosphere
- push your comfort zone. Allow your inhibitions to really be released and play with personas and scenes that run counter to your natural personality. If you’re a powerful man or woman at work, allow yourself to play the submissive
We had a great time at the class, and it set up beautifully for the boss/secretary role playing we had planned with friends the following week. Which, by the way, went wonderfully.