As a women, do you fantasize about sex with another woman? According to sex educator Tracy Cox’s top 20 sexual fantasies for men and for women, this is the #3 most common fantasy for women.
Through this series of blogs, I will get into the basis for these ‘common’ fantasies, how common they actually seem to be, their realizability, and any other disconnected thoughts I may have at the moment on them. If I’m feeling bold, I may also share some of my experiences with them.
So, how common is this fantasy? In my experience, very. It used to surprise me to see how many women fantasized about being with another women. Not to sound like a pervert, but I spend a fair bit of time discussing sexual fantasies with other people. Amongst the many, many, women with whom I’ve discussed sexual fantasy, I think this is amongst the most widely held. Of female friends whom I would consider sexual open minded, I would say the vast majority have admitted to this sexual fantasy. Of female friends who are not quite as sexual, I am still surprised at the number who will shyly smile and admit that its crossed their minds during times when their lustful mental barriers where down.
So, why is this so prolific. I think there are two reasons. Firstly, I do believe the science that has found that a majority of women (and significant number of men) experience sexual fluidity and are somewhere along the bisexuality spectrum. It is sometimes uncomfortable to admit, especially for those in monogamous relationships, that you lust after the same sex. Secondly, (for women exclusively and not for men, I would think) there is a knowledge that their sexual engagement with a woman is a big turn on for their male partner… and this makes it hot for them to think about doing it.
For my wife, this is a big one. She is unembarrassed to admit that she finds other women sexy and the thought of being with other women is a big turn on. When she has confided this to friends she find, almost without exception, that this is a shared fantasy. That said, the extent which other women feel comfortable acting on this is much more mixed.
So, is this fantasy as common as I think?