At risk of jumping late onto the bandwagon, I wanted to discuss the monogamish lifestyle.
Dan Savage coined the term, and its a broad concept covering all relationship models that are not – strictly speaking – monogamy. On the lighter end, think of: the couple that occasionally has a threesome; swingers who every once in a while get naked with another couple; maybe even a guy who cams with another woman.
The hallmark, though, is that all of this is done with knowledge and consent of both people in couple. Think of it as agreed to little sexual things the couple does to spice up their relationship, that involves sexual interaction with others.
From everything I read, this seems to be all the rage these days. Couples are continually pushing the boundaries on what it means to be sexually fulfilled and ‘a couple’.
And I think this is a good thing. While it is near incontrovertible that, biologically, we are not meant to be monogamous, there are really good social reasons for us to be pair bonded. What I mean by this — for the purposes of feeling secure, raising kids, owning property… really really important societal objectives – it helps to be in a stable long term relationship. But, at the same time, as we live for 70, 80 and 90 years, the fact that we naturally crave sexual variety becomes more and more pressing.
It seems to me, monogamish arrangements give the best of both worlds – pair bonding and permanence and sexual variety. And they provide an awesome alternative to what seems to be the current societal default — huge rates of infidelity.
So, get out there and be monogamnish!