Newsflash: watching others have sex is hot. When men and women have been surveyed on their sexual fantasies, voyeurism is one of the relatively few that rates really high on both the male and the female fantasy preference spectrum.
This is, obviously, not surprising. Online adult entertainment is a $3 billion a year enterprise. Women and men are both consuming porn in massive quantities. We like watching people have sex.
But we like it in different ways. When surveyed, men are far more direct in the voyeuristic desires. Men’s ideal scenario is sitting in a room watching people have sex in front of them. Women are more cagy. Women prefer looking out their window and seeing sex from a distance, where the people engaged in sex cannot see them.
This made me think, why the difference? Here is what I came up with and it speaks volumes about how women express sexual desire. A possible explanation for these two different “men’ and ‘women’ scenarios is that (i) men are more comfortable with the fantasy (and, therefore, are comfortable with the ‘performers’ being in the room and knowing they are being watched); (ii) women may be more embarrassed of the fantasy and, therefore prefer to remain anonymous, even within the fantasy.
Does this speak to men and women’s basic perceptions of sex. Are women still seeing sexual arousal as taboo and the anonymity in the fantasy is a projection of their need to feel anonymous in the expression of sexual desire. Men, on the other had, wear their sexual desire on their sleeves.
As a society, we have come a long way in accepting that women feel sexual desire and lust in levels similar to men. I fear, however, we may have a long way to go.
It is time for women to move form the back of the bus to the front of pervert’s row at the sex show. You know you wanna.