We’ve never had more time on our hands. Working from home. Cancelled kids’ activities. Fewer evenings out at shows and restaurants.
So, with so much time on our hands, why are we having so little sex? I’ve had countless friends tell me that, despite all the free time they have, their sex lives are pretty crummy these days.
Its an interesting phenomenon. It seems – maybe – the more time we have, the less we take on. I’m weirdly reminded of my daughter’s experience in her first job. She had a mostly lazy summer, having a hard time motivating herself to do much of anything. But then she got a summer job and, that same week, her competitive sports teams began training again. All of a sudden she went from having nothing to do, to having 30 hours of work and 15 hours of training a week. And, seemingly from nowhere, she is helping cook meals again, making time for friends, planing visits with her grandparents.
The act of being busy has made her more keen to take more things on. Its similar with sex. When we are bored and have too much free time, motivating ourselves to be sexual is hard. As enjoyable as sex is, it takes work to do it well. And we need to be in a mood to do a little work. Conversely, when we have other things on our plate we feel a little more exciting. A little more motivated. And I think that makes us more sexual and willing to put in the effort to make sex happen.
So, if you find yourself a little unhappy with your Sex Life these days, don’t fix your sex life…. fix your life.