No one would disagree. Ryan Lochte’s Rio 2016 Olympics were a debacle. He lied about being mugged when in fact he actually vandalized a gas station. He’s been dropped by all his major sponsors costing him about $2 million. And, oh yeah, he didn’t swim very well; is only medal was as part of the hyper-strong US 4×200 freestyle relay team.
But, from adversity is born opportunity. Apparently, the sex toy maker Autoblow2 has offered to sponsor Lochte. The deal – a $10,000 sponsorship if Lochte will pose with their auto-felator. I checked out the website. It looks pretty sweet. A man inserts his penis into a sleeve-type device, and rings of beads then move up and down your penis… until you win the gold (thats a euphemism for orgasm :)). So, yeah, it simulates an orgasm.. from someone with a month full of plastic beads.
Personally, I hope Ryan takes the deal. The male sex toy business lives in the shadow of its female equivalent. The publicity this deal would (and has already) generated would be a lot to help with ‘male sex toy invisibility’.
So Ryan, we beg you, sink just a tiny bit lower and become the next Mr Autoblow2.