It’s that time of year. All of those heady, champagne-induced promises we made to ourselves… this is when they become more of a chore than an ambition. They were important at the time, so how do you go about keeping them important as you get back into the day-to-day challenges of work and your life?
My wife and I are resolutions-setters. It helps us balance the competing priorities on our lives and makes sure we add time for fun things. We set resolutions for : (i) fitness; (ii) our social lives; (iii) our sex lives; (iv) family; (v) hobbies; and (vi) what we give back to the community. We do this each year and, for the most part, we make decent progress on most.
Some of our fun ones: we want to meet at least a few couples who are in the swinging lifestyle; we want to make regular use of our sexy ‘tickle trunk’ to spice up our sex lives; and more generally, we want to spend more of our social lives with people we really like (as opposed to people we hangout with who juts happen to be at the same parental event as us).
Setting these goals is easy, but actually sticking to them when you’re back to work on Jan 4 can be a challenge. Here are a few tricks we use that tend to work:
- We take time early in the week to make social plans. For our sexy and social goals, every Sunday evening we take a few minutes and figure out what evenings during the week may have some free time and try to plan who we might like to see. We may decide that Tuesday evening is open for meeting a new lifestyle couple for a drink to see if we click and Friday may be open for a dinner party.
- As boring as it sounds, we schedule things. We decide what evening we will go to the rock climbing gym at when we will get other workouts in that we want. We will often choose an evening for more leisurely sexual play, that will give us time to play a sexy game or maybe watch porn together or something other more drawn out.
- Get enough sleep so that we can bring energy into our evenings. Nothing is worse than feeling so worn out at the end of the work day that all you can do in the evening is slouch in front of the TV. We place a real priority on being rested enough to bring energy and activity into our evenings.
- We don’t allow our work to bleed into our evenings any more than it has to. We both have demanding jobs that can easily take as much time as you will give them. We made a decision a few years ago that we would (i) leave work at 5 each day – unless there was really an exceptional need; and (ii) work no more than one evening a week. I find that when things are intense at work, I prefer to take one evening and really get a lot done (i.e. work an extra 4-5 hours and completely write off the night… as opposed to letting work hang over my head every evening.