I’ve always marvelled at the variety of activities that ring our sexual bells. Over the course of my sexual life, I’ve met countless swingers (love ’em); a few couples who live in full time master/slave relationships (liked them more than I would have expected); a couple professional dominatrixes (really love them); and fetishists of almost every variety imaginable.
So imagine my delight when I found out that a good friend of ours has had a hot wifeing fetish for years, and decided to share with me his desire and to help him think through how he might be able to act on it. Hot wifeing is, as I understand it, is a fetish wherein a guy likes seeing his wife being pleasured sexually by someone else. I’m just staring to wrap my head around some of the details and variations, but as I understand it:
- the guy in the couple gets aroused by the idea that has wife is the object of someone else’s sexual desire and then enjoys either watching someone else pleasure his wife or hearing in detail how someone else has sexually pleasured his wife
- hot wifeing may or may not involve humiliation. I think (may be wrong here) that is is very common for the fetish to involve the husband feeling humiliated by how well his wife is being pleasured by someone else. And the wife ‘rubbing in his face’ the fact that someone else is turning her on so much. In other cases – and this is the case with my friend – there is no humiliation involved. He loves his wife’s sexuality and really, really gets off on orchestrating an erotic encounter for her and knowing all the details of what she would like to do and what she does with someone else.
So, his question to me… how does he make this happen. We (me, him and his wife) spoke about it for a while; here is what we came up with:
- If this really is equally his and her fantasy, the two of them should do an extensive vetting of potential people she could be with. They should identify guys (or girls) that she would find attractive and that he would feel comfortable being with his wife. It lead to an interesting discussion – are you OK if he’s better looking than you? what if he has a bigger cock? do they need to be personality compatible? All good things to figure out.
- Once they identify some potential guys, either he or both of them should meet them in person to make sure they would feel comfortable and safe with this scenario. This is huge… and led to another investing discussion
- Is it better to hot wife with a friend? In their scenario, at least occasionally, they want her to be alone with the guy… my friend not there. They are, therefore, very concerned worried about choosing someone who will be safe and respectful. Which led to the very practical suggestion… maybe go with someone you already know and trust… which led to an interesting proposal whose details I will not get into
- What are the rules? Especially if he will not be there during the ‘event’, it is really important to establish any parameters that are important – full penetrative sex, protection, kissing, after sex cuddling… these are all question marks.
It is a fun new potential adventure for them… and for me its kind of fun to be a part of it.