There aren’t many sources of objectives and informed advice on whether men or women are better lovers. Thank God for bisexuals. They are amongst the privileged few who enjoy the sexual company of both men and women and can objectively discuss the pros and cons of each gender.
As readers of my blog have likely inferred (especially those who have read posts written by my wife), my wife is bisexual. And so are quite a few of my female friends.
So I did an informal survey (just bisexual women.. I know very few bi men). Who makes better lovers?
A few interesting observations:
- The adage that women are more intimate and romantic – not true.. at least not always. Most people assume that when two women have sex it will be really gentle and caring and intimate. I found a pretty even split between women who say they have more intimacy and romance with another women and women who say being with a man is more intimate. It totally depends on the lover. And, certainly, in my wife’s experience, she’s been with woman who are super soft and romantic and others who are really intense and dirty.
- When women are with other women they bring their A-Game. This may be because most of my bisexual female friends are in primary heterosexual relationships, but they all told me that when they are with other women, both they and the other woman try harder. When a woman plays with another woman there seems to be more foreplay, more toys, more positions.. more of anything. As I said, I think I have a real survey design problem, but everyone I spoke to said that when they have their bi experience, there seems to be more effort applied all around.
- As great as girl-girl sex is, there is something missing. One of the best things about girl-girl sex seems to be that it is not a rush to end with a male orgasm. But many women told me that, in girl-girl sex, the lack of the ‘finishing’ male orgasm was a bit of a missing element in girl-girl sex. Its weird.. while the loved the fact that girl-girl sex lacked that goal orientation of the male organs, they king of missed it too.
And another thing I learned, from different conversations I’ve had with a few male friends who are not involved with bisexual women. There is a near 50/50 split between (i) those who think I’m the luckiest guy in the world having a bi wife; and (ii) those who find it terrifying and would live in constant dread of her leaving me for a woman.
So what are your thoughts? Do guys or girls make better lovers?