Yesterday, I wrote on some science that showed that – for many of us – the kinks we have as adults where imprinted from some quasi-sexual experience during our youth. For example: strict teacher in middle school; hot for teacher fetish.
I canvassed a few friends for real life examples, and found something interesting. Many of my male friends supported the finding, and could trace their current fetishes back to an experience when they were young. My female friends, however… none of them could trace their kinks back to a childhood experience. In fact, virtually all of the women I asked said they developed their kinks later in life, as they became more confident and comfortable in their sexuality.
This made me wonder if this is one of the key differences in male and female sexuality. As boys, we are taught that our sexual urges are natural and healthy. Therefore when we have a quasi sexual experience when we are young, it will remain a positive deep rooted memory and, possibly, reemerge later in life as a fetish.
For women, however, they are told as young girls – either explicitly or implicitly – that their sexual urges are wrong. Therefore, I would suppose, these youthful quasi sexual experiences are not the roots of positive sexual memories. Women tend to spend their 20s – if they are lucky – unlearning the taboos and confines that society has placed on their perfectly natural sexual desire. And it is through this unlearning of the bad and acquiring of a positive relationship with their sexual desire that they acquire, from scratch, a set f kinks. And, again, these are the lucky ones; I suspect it is far ore common that they simply maintain that stigmatized negative view of sexuality their whole lives).
Juts my two cents on kinks for your Thursday morning.