Everyone has a fantasy. Whether it’s being tied up, having threesome, going to a sex party or simply having more drawn out foreplay, there is always something we fantasize about trying sexually but haven’t quite made it happen yet.
No matter your fantasy, I have found that there are a few tips that can improve your chances of turning that fantasy into a reality.
1. Treat it like a new adventure, not a critique of the past – when you bring it up with your partner, make sure you are not doing it in a way that may appear to be criticizing your current sex life. If you want a threesome, ensure that your partner will not perceive this as a response to boredom with him/her. If you want more foreplay, don’t present it as critical of his current sexual approach. One of the keys to realizing your fantasies is to make it feel like something new you want to explore together.
2. You’re in it together – even though it’s your fantasy, think through how you will both benefit. A sexual fantasy should make both of your holistic sex lives better, even if one of you wants that particular fantasy more than the other. I have certainly found that as I have started to indulge in some of my wife’s fantasies, it increases the overall quality of our sex lives even when we are not embarking on one of her trysts. It is widely reported that when couples enter the swinging lifestyle, there sex lives improve dramatically, even though a relatively minute about of their sexual time is spent in lifestyle activities.
3. Don’t get consumed by it – a fantasy is – usually – a limited part of your sexual repertoire. If, for example, your fantasy is for your wife to talk dirty to you, don’t expect her to turn on the potty mouth every time you have sex. This can make a fantasy just too much work and the pleasure and indulgence of it diminishes.
4. Most importantly, have fun with it. Your sex life is a giant playground. Don’t be afraid to explore; but at the same time if some part of the playground are not to your liking, there is nothing wrong with checking it out once and never going back
Are there sexual fantasies you would like to have realized? What’s your strategy for getting what you want?