Many of us live busy lives. Kids, career … that seems to fill more than 24 hours. Add to that friends, hobbies, chores…. Life get busy.
How do we make sure all of this legitimately important stuff doesn’t come at the expense of the relationship and intimacy we want with our partner. My wife and I have all the triggers (busy professional jobs, active pre-teen kids, a home that does not clean itself). At the same time, we place a huge priority on making time for us – to chat, connect, have sex… all the fun stuff in a relationship. Not saying we’re perfect, but here are a few things we’ve learned to do:
1. Mini At-Home Dates: at least one evening a week we’ll hang out together, have a glass of wine and just chat. This will be after the kids go to bed or if they are downstairs watching a movie.
2. Martini Tuesdays – every Tuesday evening (it is an activity-free night for us) we will have another couple over for a drink. We don;t go late – maybe 8-10pm – but it is a good way to stay social with other adult friends.
3. Don’t be embarrassed to schedule – in this day and age, we schedule many elements of our lives, and our days tend to get driven by what’s on our schedule or on our list. We make sure we schedule in evenings out as dates or sexy nights together at home. This doesn’t mean that every time we have sex or a date it is at a preordained time, but we do carve out a minimum of specific time that allows us to make sure we are enjoying each other.
4. Don’t be ashamed to make this a top priority – this underlines all the others. Staying connected with your partner is important to your attitude and well being; it makes you a better parent, a better friend, a better person. Prioritize accordingly.