Weekends with the guys is not something I’ve done a lot of. It feels like a little too much testosterone and too forced. Like everyone is trying too hard to recapture the relationship they’ll had when they were younger. So, everyone drinks too much to cover for the fact that they don’t really know what to do or talk about/.
I do stay in regular touch with a small group of guy friends from high school. Good guys that I email with regularly – in fact pretty much every day – and discuss topics like current events, politics, philosophy, family. I actually value these emails quite a bit. They are all very smart and thoughtful, but also very different. So we get some really good debates going.
And they get together at least once a year for a boys weekend. Usually for a weekend in a city that is relatively easy for everyone to get to. I participated a few times, years ago. Hated it. For them, its this cathartic release from their families and day to day obligations. Whereas on email where we talk about interesting things, these weekends are – quite literally – 48 hours of seeing how much you can drink.
The discussion is drunken, awkward and juvenile. The activities are non existent… drinking either at a bar or someone’s home; maybe playing poker. I went twice. Both times I kind of enjoyed the first 6 hours but loathed the rest. I had to break it to them a few years ago that I couldn’t do these anymore. They were a little pissed off about it but kind of understood when I explained that it simply wasn’t my thing.
But here is what I wonder. For the millions of guys who do these boys weekends. Do they really like it? From what I hear they all follow, more or less, the same script. I think the better ones plan some daytime activities like a round of golf or a hike. But they all seem to share that theme of drinking to a silly degree, juvenile behaviour and being really nostalgic about their youth. So I can only assume that most guys really like this. I suppose I can understand it and maybe I’m the weird one for not valuing it more. But as I was getting 2am drunk texts and photos of them making lame gay jokes and throwing cheesies at each other, I was very happy to be at home with a my wife and a couple close friends having a few glasses of wine.