We all – hopefully- plan for the next stages of our lives. We save for our kids’ education. We pay off our mortgage in anticipation of being debt-free for retirement. But the future is about more than financial stability.
I had an interesting discussion with some friends the other night about our futures. More specifically, we discussed what we wanted to be doing in 10-20 years and what we needed to do now to make sure we could be doing that. The responses ran the gamut.
One guy wanted complete financial independence and retirement by 50; so he saves like a fiend and he and his wife have just started renting out the second floor of their home in order to pay off their mortgage more quickly. Another woman wants to have a cottage as a retreat from the busy city; she recently took a promotion at work that she really didn’t but that would make it easier to save for her cottage.
The discussion was interesting, but predictable. People crave a level of comfort and security. They sacrifice today – somewhat – to have a secure tomorrow.
But the next response was more interesting. My favourite of the group said her goal for 20 years out was to have a a sex life as good or better than it is now – and she has a very good sex life. She said sex was the thing in her life that gives her the most pleasure and she could not imagine allowing it to whither. Moreover, she said that when she was happy about the sex she was having, she tended to be happy about other things too.
So, what does she do now? She works hard to stay in shape… not in particular because she wants to look great now, but because she fears that if she starts to fall out of shape it is a downward spiral and may lead to lethargy and complacency. She also keeps things fresh and exciting, sexually, with her current partner. She tries very hard to avoid ruts and patterns that may make her sex life boring. And, perhaps most importantly, she keeps a balance in her life that leaves her time and energy for sex and her relationship.
I liked her approach. Too many people envision a dampening and a lowering emphasis on sex as they age. I have quite a few years until I am considered truly ‘old’, but I’m laying the groundwork now to make sure that as I age, I do so with energy vitality and sexuality.