As we age – whether we’re in our 30s, 40s, or beyond – it’s important to remember that the time for new adventures and experiences need not come to an end.
In that spirit, I’ve decided to do a series of blogs on ‘firsts’. These are experiences I have either recently had in my life, or ones that I would like to have in my not-too-distance middle-aged future. For me, it’s all about making sure I continue to live life to the fullest and seek adventure in each phase of my life.
So to quote the over-quoted Dylan Thomas, ‘Do not go gently into that good night; rage, rage against the dying of the light’.
And now for my personal favorite recently realized first – A few months ago, for the first time in my life, my wife and I had sex from sunset to sunrise. While we have always had a wonderful sex life, with plenty of long, drawn out sexual days and evenings, we had never once fu&#ed literally from sun down to sun up.
About a month ago, with another couple – very good friends with whom we have a sexual relationship – we kind of stumbled into our sexual all-nighter. We hadn’t seen them for quite a while, so we were planning to meet at their place for drinks and maybe a quick catch up. From the moment all of us were together, it was clear the sexual energy was high and that the drinks would be quick and catch-up would be very drawn out and sexy. As the sun was setting, we retreated to their ultra-lush no-kids-allowed living room. An infinite number of kisses, sexual positions, embraces, cuddles, sex toys, and configurations later, we noticed the light peeking through the curtains. Completely unbeknownst to any of us, the night was gone and it was 6:30 in the morning.
It was exhilarating. In some ways, the night passed in an instant … we were absolutely shocked when we saw the first glimmer of daylight and realized the sun was coming up. But, in other ways, the night also went on forever. It is an amazing feeling to just allow yourself to get lost in that sexual energy and to be in no rush to ‘finish’ but rather to just continually morph into the next sexual mini-adventure.
I’m a little shocked I had never done this before. I suppose it helps in some ways that it is four people rather than just two… the range of possible activities goes up exponentially. But more than it being about the number of participants, it’s the mindset. Although we had no idea we would be up all night, we did enter the evening with the mentality that we wanted to enjoy being together for a long time; we didn’t want to rush to orgasms … we wanted to enjoy each other sexually. And that’s what did it. When you aren’t fixated on an orgasm and you just allow yourself to enjoy moment after moment after moment, you eventually realize you don’t want it to stop. And it goes on.. all night… maybe longer.
In the spirit of sharing, I will confess we did the exact same thing again two weeks later, and are currently planning a 24 hour ‘experience’ for later this summer – because let’s face it … sunset to sunrise just isn’t enough.