Is It Better With Three? – Yes… I’m talking about sex!

Is there any fantasy typically more male than the FFM threesome?  For those not up in the terminology, this is a sexual threesome amongst 2 girls and 1 guy.  It is so quintessentially ‘male awesome’ that you may be surprised there is anything to to write on it – from a guy’s perspective – aside from: “Its great. Do it. Lots”.

But there is more to it than the innate awesomeness.  Having a little experience in this regard, I am here form the other side to tell you that, while it certainly is a pretty wonderful experience, (i) it may not be as unabashedly amazing as you think; and (ii) irrespective, there is a lot to think about and manage to make sure it is as good as it can be.

So, if you’re a guy being offered a threesome with two wonderful women, consider this:

  • It may not be 100% all about you.  Many women, by some studies, a majority of are identifying as bisexual. So, while you are important to their sexual tryst, you’re not the only attraction.  Make sure you are aware of the dynamic between the three of you, understand who is attracted to whom, and allow space for them to be together as well as with you.
  • Plan the event. Not to sound like a whiner, but I was a little put off in my first threesome when our ‘third’ arrived at our place and we were all naked and ‘in the act’ within 10 minutes. Call me a girl, but I like to be romanced a little… at least a drink and a little small talk.
  • Set the ground rules. While it’s easy to imagine an anything-goes hedonistic threesomes, there actually may be some limits that you shod be aware of.  Is kissing allowed (some people are weird about that level of intimacy)?  Is everyone up for penetrative sex? Are you up for being penetrated (its becoming wayyy more common for a woman to like to explore a guys butt a little; or a lot)?
  • Practice safe sex.. duh
  • Make sure everyone feels included.  This is much tougher than you might think.  In my experience, if the women are truly bisexual and are close with one another, this one is pretty easy… the dynamic is fluid and everyone finds configurations that work.  But when the women are less bi – say ‘bi-curious’ or straight… this can be really tough. It is very easy for one woman to feel (and be) left out.  And when you are not in the action in the moment, 2 minutes can feel like an eternity.  So, always be aware that each girl has to feel included and happy at all moments, but at the same time, try to be understanding that this may not always happen… people get caught up in the moment.
    • If one of these women is your wife or partner this need to include is even more important.  Your wife should never ben made to feel like a third wheel.. but as well, the ‘invited guest’ should never feel like a less intimate participant than your wife.  There is a huge responsibility, in a threesome with your wife and another woman, to make sure both women are really, really enjoying it and feeling comfortable.  And, for you, this may involve talking yourself out of the moment periodically – ever regularly – to make sure the dynamic is working.

In my experience, a threesome is a pretty fun time, but it is very unlike ‘normal’ sex.   A threesome – while having some awesome moments – tends to lack the intimacy and fluidity that I love in sex.  You get elements of this during a threesome, but I feel pulled out of the moment more than I would ideally like.

I remember a line from the TV show Friends, after a less than awesome threesome: “but still, you’re worst night with two women… pretty much better than any other night”.  Nope. While I enjoy FFM threesomes – I really do – it would not make my top 3 fantasy/experience list.  Maybe #6.

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