Trickle Down Sexonomics

Remember when Ronald Regan used trickle down economics to assure us that the massive tax cuts he was giving corporations and the wealthy would ‘trickle down’ to low income people as the rich spent their extra money.

It didn’t really work.  But last night a friend of proposed a much better use of the trickle down theory… trickle down sexonomics.  After a weekend a weekend getaway of unbelievable sexual adventure with her partner, she noticed three things:

  1. Sex begets sex: Rather than being sexually satiated, they came home hornier and lusting after each other more than ever. Despite being tired from the weekend, she said that she and her partner were having the most intense sex both evenings since their return and were trying to ft in quickies in morning.
  2. Everyone feels the love: Since returning home from their weekend sex-fest, she said everyone seems to be treating her more nicely. Her kids are in great moods and helping out around the house, everyone seems happier and work and – no lie – a guy in a coffee shop came up to her Monday morning and said “I don’t want to seem creepy but I just wanted to tell you that you’re fucking gorgeous”.  She thinks she must be giving off a glow or an energy that telegraphs her happiness to others.. and it draws them to her.
  3. She’s a better parent: Being a parent can be stressful, thankless work.  We’ve all been at points were we don’t think we can handle one more squabble, homework marathon or shuttling to their 33 weekly soccer games, guitar practices, art class… Being sexually connected with your partner does two huge things – (i) it gives you the break/indulgence you need to put your best self back into the parenting game and (ii) it models happiness and affection for your children.. don’t you want you children to seek relationships full of love and affection?

And this my friends is Trickle Down Sexonomics… its a thing.

Does Your Boyfriend Wear Your Panties?

I had a roommate years ago, when we were talking about sex, ask: ‘when you wear your girlfriends panties, do you ever want to leave them of because they feel so good’.

I had never – ever – worn female panties. When I told him this he was incredulous.  He said everyone does that… its a kinky, sexy thing.  But, clearly, because I never have he simply let it drop.

Fast forward fifteen years… I have some pretty sexually adventurous friends.  So, this afternoon over drinks, I asked them if this was a thing with them.  Did they wear their wives/girlfriends panties.  To this day, I have never, but I assumed that because my old roommate found it so commonplace, that they all would have.

None.

Of the 6 of us – 4 guys and 2 girls.  None had tried such a thing. In fact, they thought it was pretty weird.  And I could tell you stories about these folks.. their bar for sexual weird is pretty damn high.  But none of the guys had worn panties and neither of the girls had had  a boyfriend who did.

So… who’s out of sych here?  Is guys wearing his girlfriend’s panties a thing?

The Ubiquitous Twin Fantasy

If your boyfriend or husband tells you he’s never fantasized out being with twins, he’s lying. And, if you’re a guy reading this, and you’ve never fantasized about being with twins, well… thats not even possible… because no guy exists anywhere who hasn’t had the twins fantasy.

So, imagine my delight when I got an opportunity to (kind of) experience the dream… again and again and again.

The story begins with a couple we know through the swinging lifestyle, and with whom we’ve become very close. My wife and the wife of that couple looks extremely similar… eerily so.. they both have virtually identical body types, the exact same fine, delicate features, the same eyes.  My wife has long curly hair and hers is long and straight, but aside from that they could be sisters… even twins.

Early on our connective relationship we had a discussion on fantasies.  I said I’ve always had a fantasy about being with twins.  Both my wife and our new friend responded in a (I think) fairly typical way.. ‘really.. like we’re sisters?’  So, while they didn’t fully get it, they were in for giving it a try.

So, they did a shopping trip to Victoria Secrets, chose amazing matching bra and panty sets and tiny silk robes as a coverup.  They were identical except one was blue and one a greenish colour. And then we all met and had a fashion show and….

All I can say… without being too explicit… is WOW! They did everything together in a kind of sexual tandem.  I have always had this fantasy but never knew why. After experiencing it I get it… its like they are connected very deeply so the pleasure you experience is literally and figuratively doubled.

It was an amazing experience and when we all talked about it later they said they loved it. Not only for the pleasure it brought her husband and I, but for how close it made them feel.  They said they totally felt like partners in crime and were more closely connected than they had ever felt.

Flash forward a couple months… they are loving their sexual sisterhood.  They go lingerie shopping together regularly;. they recently bought identical bikinis.  She called last night and said that the matching corsets she had ordered as a surprise had arrived and, this morning, my wife went online and order them each a sexy cat women costume.

Sexy times two.

 

 

Making America Great Again – a (very painful) necessary first step

Like many last night, I watched in horrific amazement as Donald Trump was voted in as the US President.

His championing of disenfranchised American workers, his utter rejection of the status quo  (both politically and socially) and his promise to Make America Great Again .. it all resonated.

Firstly, and it pains me to say this, a lot of what Trump said was correct. Many, many Americans have not done well under the past two decades of trade liberalization, globalization and urbanization.  They have been left out of 20 years of increasing global prosperity.  Upward mobility – the pride and lynchpin of the American system – is at an all time low; never before has there been so much certainty in the US that if you’re born poor, you’ll stay poor.  And this simple fact rankles Americans at their most basic level.  The promise of upward mobility has been, for more than 100 years, the secret sauce in the America Dream.  Without it, all the myths that are core to the American identity – American Exceptionalism, City on the Hill – are completely undermined. And while these myth – as myths – are obviously fictions… the belief in these abstractions is what truly – in real life – make Americans truly exceptional.

And while all of these ‘real Americans’ have been left out of the American Dream, the ‘liberal elites’, in big cities, with college degrees and weird social values, have been hoovering up all the the (massive) economic benefits of those very trends – trade liberalization, globalization and urbanization – that have pulled the life out of rural America.

Along comes Trump and tells people (i) that all those pain they are feeling are not their fault – the liberal elites are to blame; and (ii) we can make things better through a simplistic set of protectionist and racist policies – policies that speak to our tribal base tendencies but have no basis in economics or policy realities.

Of course there is appeal in that message.  And he won.

This sucks right?  No!  It’s necessary.  In Canada we’ve recently come out of 8 years of the most divisive, right wing Prime Minister in our nation’s history.  He was similar to Trump in many ways, but not nearly as extreme.  He forced us to embrace what divided us – rural versus urban; educated versus uneducated; socially progressive versus socially conservative – and we started to hate ourselves for it.  When he lost in 2015 – and he lost badly – one of my pollster friends told me that the loss had nothing to do with his polices but everything to do with Canadians not liking the people they were becoming under Stephen Harper.

Americans will not like the people they become under Trump’s leadership.  Trump’s success depends on Americans to continue becoming more angry, more insecure and more scared of people and forces beyond their control. And this simply is not what Americans are.  Americans are bold, confident risk takers and they will – in time – resent Trump for taking that away from him.

The next, next American president in 2020 will be truly a great person and will serve during an era where America is truly  becoming great again.  The next 4 years are a necessary, albeit painful, precursor to the main event.

Cleanse and De-Cleanse: Yoga, Wine and Porn

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I received a funny text from a friend last night that got be thinking about the need for balance in our lives.

My friend – she had just returned from a weekend Yoga retreat. She had been very stressed after a ridiculously busy fall but the weekend of yoga, healthy food and meditation had completely relaxed and reinvigorated her. She said she felt better than she had in months, but was – oddly – feeling a little pent up after all that relaxation.  Her remedy.. she was going to open a bottle of wine and put on some porn. She said she needed something to balance off all of the purity that she had experienced over the weekend.

So, I left her to her wine and porn and contemplated this balance we all likely crave between our indulgent/hedonistic side and our responsible/nurturing side.  Anyone who reads my blog knows that I have a hedonistic side.. I love sex, pleasure and I work very hard to make sure both of these things – sex and pleasure – are omnipresent in my life.  That said, I think that some of our more serene and introspective pursuits are of equal importance.

Personally, I have gone through periods were I have had the balance wrong.  There have been times when there wasn’t enough sex and pleasure.  Some of these times were inevitable – e.g. when our kids were infants; other times they were circumstantial – eg. the friends we happen to be hanging out with at the time happen to be pretty serious and zen, but not super ‘fun’.  There have also been times when things felt a little too sexual and hedonistic.. when it simply felt that pursuits of pleasure were a little too dominant in my life (eg. after coming back from sexy vacations or – and I think this happens when I’m too bust at work and stressed – I’m juts a little too focussed on sex.

So, what I liked about this exchange with my friend last night – and one of the reasons I really like this friend – was her innate ability to balance these two needs in her life.  We have had some very sexy times with this person, and at the same time, we have had some really nice/vanilla times with her too.

I got a text from her early this morning – probably what prompted me to write this – that I loved.  Essentially “sorry for the drunk text last night… had an awesome weekend but I was being such a dirty girl last night and needed to share”

May we always strive for that balance.

Sex Begets Sex

A Guest Blog From My Wife:

High school math seems like a distant memory, but I’m sure there must be a linear correlation between the amount of sex you have and the amount you crave. Especially when it’s really, really good sex. Then it seems that you just can’t have enough.

We’ve recently connected with another lifestyle couple who we’re super compatible with. We’re becoming fast friends and – maybe because of that (in addition to the strong physical chemistry) – the sex is absolutely mind blowing. This has been going on for a couple of months now, and I’m finding my sexual charge is continually in over drive.

I wake up thinking about sex, find myself fantasizing about it while at work or in the car, and am initiating sex with my husband all the time. In fact, it doesn’t seem like a linear relationship, but rather an exponential one. I think we’ve all seen the opposite happen, as well. If you have friends who aren’t in a great place in their relationship, they stop having sex, and things keep going downhill – fast. Without the light hearted enjoyment of sex, and the wonderful endorphins they release, the distance between a troubled couple only seems to grow. No wonder they used to prescribe Molly to couples who came in for counseling – it’s a great way to rekindle the close connection they once shared.

Whether you loved math or hated it – this is one rule that you’ll want to remember and apply in real life. Good sex + good sex = More great sex.

Double Skinny Latte and a Blow Job pls

I had written recently about the next generation of sex robots – more attractive, more realistic sexual experience than their older counterparts… Well, it didn’t have long for an entrepreneur to take the potential for realistic artificial sex to the next level.

A cafe has been proposed for Geneva, Switzerland that would offer, for 60$, a coffee and a blow job from one of their ultra-realistic sex robots.  The original idea had been for a sex cafe, where prostitutes would be available for coffee-loving johns.  This ran into issues with prostitution laws so they re-oriented to an artificial source of sex.

Its an intriguing notion… an afternoon break of caffeine and sexual release.  It works in a bunch of ways.  Its certainly safe… as long as sex robots are well cleaned the risk of disease would be pretty much zero.  It seems reasonably ethical… surely this is no different from an afternoon walk off at work in the bathroom so I can’t imagine too much spousal resistance, as long as the 60$ price tag doesn’t present problems.

But there are certainly some drawbacks.  The most obvious, in my mind, why in a cafe?  I hang out in cafes all the time, I write there, work there, socialize there.  But as much time as I spend there and as much as I love — LOVE — a good blow job, I’ve never through of the coffee shop as where I would go for that 1-2 pleasure punch. To be honest, I’m not sure i understand the logistics.  Surely you’re not getting fallated as people all around you are having their coffee and reading magazine.  There must be a back room or something, in which case I suppose the concept is you’re basically spending 60$ to rent a sex robot… that seems ok and reasonable… but why the coffee shop.. Anyway.. seems the whole business model might be a bit of a stretch.

I guess it comes down to a simple question – as for any business enterprise – would I be willing to drop 60$ for an artificial blow job and a coffee. I would… probably only once just to see what its like and to be able to say I’ve experienced that.  But, WTF, I’d give it a whirl.