22 Minute Hard Corps – mid program update

I’ve been doing Tony Horton’s new program – 22 Minute Hard Corps – for a month now, and so have reached the program mid point.  I have blogged before that I am really liking the program, but was finding it not as intense as the other P90 programs. As such, I was a little worried the results would not materialize.

So, at the midpoint, here is where I’ve gotten.

Overall, very good results:

  • I’ve lost 4 inches, between chest, waist and thighs.
  • That goes up to 6 inches lost if you include in butt and stomach.

This is great. As I mentioned, I was in pretty decent shape going into this, and while I wanted to shed some weight and inches, I knew it would not be radical.

The downside… I’ve lost virtually no weight. There is some variation day to day, but my weight is pretty much exactly the same as when I started.  Of course, this obviously means there is a little more muscle and a little less fat… but one of my main goals from the program is not get lighter.. so I can do better at rock climbing.  Hopefully has 2 will bring this.

How Long is Too Long (yes.. I’m talking sex)

If you’ve ever been on an adult dating site, you’ll see a myriad of claims: ‘can go on for hours’; ‘amazing stamina’; ‘will pleasure you all night’.  We’re certainly given to believe that there is nothing more manly than being able the ability to deliver a rock hard erection for ahour after hour of deep penetration.

But is this what women are looking for? Turn out… NO!

A recent study – albeit a pretty un-scientific one done by you tubers – found that women wants a sexual session to last approximately 30 minutes (foreplay included) and they want the penetrative part to last for an average of 5 1/2 minutes.

This is important for guys to know.  Firstly… check out the ratio of foreplay to penetration; women want, on average, 25 minutes of warmup and 5 minutes of deep thrusting.  Individuals will vary, but in my experience, longer foreplay and shorter penetrative sex is usually the right call.

Secondly, there is certainly a belief among guys that women want us to last once the thrusting starts; this appears to be only true to a very limited extent. I’m sure a girl doesn’t want three thrusts and done.  And if she is orgasmic from penetration, I’m sure she will often want it to last long enough to get her off as well. Yet… after 20 minutes or so, things can get raw, it can hurt and it can even get a little boring.  My wife both likes penetration and is multiple G-spot orgasmic.  Yet… on a  normal evening of sex, 10 minutes penetration is probably just about right for her. On a wilder night, I would say 20-30 minutes max.  But.. when we have time, she would be into hours of foreplay (but… on the flip side that… on a busy Tuesday night, 10 minutes of foreplay and all the bill too)

Fascinating… they don’t want to go all night.  They want to go for about half an hour and then watch some TV, have a glass of wine, chat … or maybe just take off.

 

Do Kinks Work Differently for Women

Yesterday, I wrote on some science that showed that – for many of us – the kinks we have as adults where imprinted from some quasi-sexual experience during our youth.  For example:  strict teacher in middle school; hot for teacher fetish.

I canvassed a few friends for real life examples, and found something interesting.  Many of my male friends supported the finding, and could trace their current fetishes back to an experience when they were young.  My female friends, however… none of them could trace their kinks back to a childhood experience. In fact, virtually all of the women I asked said they developed their kinks later in life, as they became more confident and comfortable in their sexuality.

This made me wonder if this is one of the key differences in male and female sexuality.  As boys, we are taught that our sexual urges are natural and healthy.  Therefore when we have a quasi sexual experience when we are young, it will remain a positive deep rooted memory and, possibly, reemerge later in life as a fetish.

For women, however, they are told as young girls – either explicitly or implicitly –  that their sexual urges are wrong.  Therefore, I would suppose, these youthful quasi sexual experiences are not the roots of positive sexual memories.  Women tend to spend their 20s  – if they are lucky – unlearning the taboos and confines that society has placed on their perfectly natural sexual desire. And it is through this unlearning of the bad and acquiring of a positive relationship with their sexual desire that they acquire, from scratch, a set f kinks.  And, again, these are the lucky ones; I suspect it is far ore common that they simply maintain that stigmatized negative view of sexuality their whole lives).

Juts my two cents on kinks for your Thursday morning.

Where Do Our Kinks Come From?

A friend of mine has a  nurse fetish.  He loves it when his wife dresses as a naughty nurse and anytime he roles out the dirty talk, there is always a seductive nurse making a special appearance. The scenario is always similar – he’s the patient, she enters his room innocently, things start as a normal examine, but then things get flirtatious and then outright sexual.

Pretty standard for fare… but the reasoning behind his fantasy is fascinating. He can track back to the exact moment it began. He was 13 years old, in the hospital and had a gorgeous and sweet redheaded nurse that he had a ‘huge crush on’  He said he can remember her in almost every details and recalls waiting in his hospital bed, constantly hoping she would come in to visit.  He swears there was nothing sexual in his thoughts then (he was sick) but he definitely had a crush on her. And it has imprinted deeply into his sexual psyche.

I have read that this is a common source of our kinks and fantasies. We experience some quasi sexual (or even non sexual) thing during our sexually formative period… and it imprints.  For me, an older sister of a friend let us watch her undress once.  Now… suppose, surprise, I love watching women tease and pleasure themselves.

How about you… what are your kinks and can you trace back to their sources?

Never Turn Down an Orgasm

In the most comprehensive study yet on the topic, men who ejaculate at least 21 times a month are far less likely to develop prostate cancer.  In fact, the risk of prostate cancer in men declines over 20% if he ejaculates 21 times a month of more.

The study followed 32,000 men beginning in 1992 and continuing until 2010 – this type of longitudinal study, while expensive and time consuming, is considered the gold standard of epidemiological research.  Blah, blah.. it means its a really credible study.

It has been known for some time that more frequent ejaculations can help reduce prostate cancer risk, but this is the largest and most conclusive study.  And short of showing the biophysical connection between ejaculation and prostate cancer – which is really, really hard – this is pretty darn good proof that guys everywhere should be ejaculating more.

So, guys, the next time you need a little helping hand (or mouth or other cavity) from your partner… or if you ever feel shame or guilt about your masturbatory habits… keep this in mind.  An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away.

 

Feeling Jealous Because Your Wife is Spending Too Much Time with The Guys…

… don’t be. It probably means you’re getting more sex.

A fascinating study has come out finding that women who spend more time hanging out with guys also have more sex with their partner. The reason: sperm competition.  Apparently, being around all that testosterone makes her crave you – and your sperm – even more.

 

Everyone Has A (sexy?) Story

Our pre-teen daughter is a competitive athlete. So, in the past year, we’ve spent an obscene amount of time in cheap hotels in the suburbs of major North American cities.  New York used to mean Broadway and Central Park; now it’s Syracuse.  Toronto used to be a Raptors Game and the aquarium; it is now an East Side Mario’s in Etobicoke.

I’ve always been either a remote wilderness or downtown core type of guy, so while I love seeing my daughter excel in a sport she loves, I could do without the strip malls, crappy continental breakfasts and miles and miles of suburban sameness.

In the past, I had always thought… who the hell spends their weekends in North York, Ontario? What I’ve discovered is that – as different as this is from a weekend in Times Square – it is equally full of fascinating people – all with stories to tell.

 

Finding a hotel close enough to the sporting venue and far enough away from bed bugs can be a challenge. When choosing our hotel for last weekend, we were intrigued when the first review on TripAdvisor gave it a positive review based on its proximity to a nearly swingers club. Sure enough, when we arrived, there were two couples in lobby who were dressed to the nines (can you use that expression for leopard print skirts and sheer white tank tops?) who were definitely out for a sexy night on the town. We chatted with them as they waited for a few other couples to come downstairs (with our 12 year old daughter in tow). While it was a little awkward for the woman in the tiny, tiny outfit, they were amazing. Like almost all other swingers I’ve met…. fun, friendly, happy. And… not sure if this is a good or a bad thing… my daughter was completely un-phased by the outfit she was wearing out.

This weekend, at the bar/lounge of the Holiday Inn Express we were staying in, I’m pretty sure we were seeing phase 1 of an orgy develop in the booths next to us.  Either they are just the friendliest group of couples you’ve ever met – who like rubbing one another’s breasts after they’ve had a few – or there was some upstairs sexy fun that was being foreplayed for our amusement.

And, on the less sexy but equally fascinating side, we recently met a salesman who sells automated pancake and waffle makers to the very hotel we were staying in for their free buffet breakfasts.  He knew more about the cheap breakfast biz than anyone I’ve ever met (the bar he had to pass to become the ‘most’ knowledgeable was admittedly low, but still… interesting guy).

Anyway… I never would have chosen to spend my weekends in Butt Crack Iowa hanging out at Denny’s… but as Albert Einstein said “the most important decision we consciously make every day is whether it will be a good day or a bad one’.  And today, at the North York Dunkin Donuts, it’s a good day.