What Makes a Sex Show Sexy?

Arriving back at our hotel in Amsterdam, just having seen one of Amsterdam’s infamous sex shows, a question runs through each of my wife and my minds — was that sexy?

For those not familiar, Amsterdam’s red light district boasts three ‘world famous’ sex shows — all within a block of one another in the Red Light District. Bananenbar, the wildest of the three, seems to consist mainly of women putting things (like bananas) into their pussy and taking things out (apparently there was once a performer who comes on stage naked and is fully dressed by the end of the show, with solely the content of her vagina). The largest show – Casa Rossa – has 8 acts consisting mainly of strippers (with props – dildos, bananas, etc) and couples having sex on stage.  The acts run in a loop, so within about an hour and a bit you will have seen all eight.  The third – Le Moulin Rouge – is much like the Casa Rossa, but in a  smaller venue with fewer acts.

We opted for Le Moulin Rouge. There were five acts – first a stripper. As she stripped she had a male audience member come on stage and she stripped him as well; the culmination was her squatting over the you man, with a marker in her pussy, writing ‘I’m a bad boy’ on his chest – in incredible penmanship (pen-pussyship??). The next act was called the banana show.  A very happy/engaging stripper pulled three men onstage, stripper for them and then had then eat pieces of banana from various parts of her body… with the last pieces in ‘you know where’. Next up and powerful looking dominatrix did a sexy, mild BDSM routine with some audience members. Fourth, a gorgeous stripper did a fun burlesque dance for a very nervous young man. She was a little disappointed when he would not touch her or pull the beads from her vagina – she improvised well. Next up – another stripper who did an awesome performance for a very, very, very, happy audience member; he almost exploded when he was asked to use a dildo on her – once he figured out what it was.   Finally, a couple came on stage dressed as a cop and her prisoner.  They did a very good strip tease and then had (very mediocre) sex on stage.

So, what did we think.  Firstly, it was a very comfortable, un-intimidating experience.  The audience was a good mix of men and man/woman couples.  My wife certainly didn’t feel out of place – there were at least 20 other women there, in an audience of about 70. There was no seedy, dangerous feeling… at all.

And did we like it?  Unequivocally yes. It was a really fun time. It was sexy, titilating, fun… all good things.  The highlight – for us – was a woman in the audience a few seats down from us who was grinding ear to ear the whole time; obviously having the time of her life.  That said, it as not the type of experience that left you turned on.. it was more sexy/fun than sexy/hot. And I think that is the point of these sex shows.. they are designed to have fun with sex, as opposed to get people all hot and horny. And they succeeded in spades.  I would highly recommend it to anyone visiting Amsterdam.

Sex, Culture and Sport – the perfect vacation

My wife and I are doing something very indulgent – we’re heading to Europe for a long weekend (actually a Thursday-Monday with her staying on for work afterwards).  We take the red eye tonight and are just brainstorming how to get the perfect mix of our favourite vacation activities – experience the culture, stay active, and – of course – some sexy fun.

So we decided to crowd-source advice.  What activities would you recommend for use wanting to get an equal indulgence in these three key activities? And if one is to be overweighted, make it sex!

Women and Lesbian Porn

Did you know…. women are 400% more likely than men to do a web search for the term ‘lesbian porn’.

Last year,  free online porn streaming site Pornhub began a collaboration with Buzzfeed to analyze viewing habits of their users.  The result – Pornhub Insights – a fascinating series of reports on the porn watching habits of Pornhib patrons.

Their most talked-about release so far… girls like girl-on-girl… a lot.  According to their use data, women search for girl on girl porn 445% more frequently than do men. As a matter of fact, lesbian porn is the most searched category for Pornhubs female users. For men, lesbian porn ranks sixth, behind (to my surprise) ebony and mature, and just ahead of gay male.

So why do the ladies so like the ladies-with-ladies.  A few theories (and some of these are borrowed from others… so I claim little original thought on this):

  1. Lots of women like women.  It has been long-proven by science that a significant majority of women are aroused by other women.  Whether they would label as bisexual or not, many, many, many women are turned on by other women — at a much higher rate than men being tend on by men.
  2. Lesbian porn focusses on female arousal. There is a theory in porn viewing that one of the elements that arouses us is imagining ourselves in the scenarios we watch.  In straight porn, the fixation on the huge male hard-on isn’t because guys watching it get turned on by a big, hard penis.  They fixate on the penis – the thrusting of the penis, the sucking of the penis, the ejaculation from the penis – because it allows the male viewer to imagine that as his penis… doing the things that penis is doing. In lesbian porn, where the focus is on the female erogenous zones, and I would assume the female viewer can imagine herself being pleasured like the actress being pleasured, irrespective of who is doing the pleasuring.
  3. Lesbian porn has a certain authenticity. I’m not a porn expert, but I’ve indulged enough to know the wheat from the shaft. And in my experience, lesbian porn portrays a more meaningful sexual experience.  The buildup to sex is often much better done… from flirting to kissing, to heavy petting to the actual act of sex.  By the time two women get there shirts off  in a girl-girl scene, a straight porn analogue would have had two blow jobs, anal, double penetration and be priming for the money at that point. I get why women don’t search that out.

So, ladies, as you settle in this evening with Girls and Their Lady Date 23, rest assures… you’re in good company.

The Rich Drive Differently Than We Do

Have you ever felt that the rich are different?  Not just materially, as in the cars they drive and where they live and vacation.  They’re different in subtle, almost imperceptible ways… a sense of confidence, an arrogance.

Want proof?  Join me someday at my daughters’ private school at drop off time.  Normally my kids bike to school, but this morning I drove them because all of the middle and senior school students were leaving on a bus for a 3 day camping trip – as class bonding exercise they do at the beginning of each school year.

The parking lot and driveway was packed. And here’s my point (finally)… the rich behave differently in a situation like this. Rather than pulling into a parking spot (there were tons) most of them simply stop in the middle of the driveway (its a wrap around so if someone stops on the driveway, no one else can leave the parking lot) and leisurely unload their daughters, help them with their camping gear and kiss them good bye… as dozens of cars sit idling behind them waiting to get out of the damn parking lot.

And its always the BWM, the Audi, the Porsche or the Mercedes. The Fords, Toyotas and VWs know their place.. over in the parking lot.

They – the wealthy – think nothing of it. The fact that they are holding up all the cars behind them, and that this easily could be avoided, appears to not even register for them. I’ve (politely/jokingly) mentioned this to other parents a number of times. Their response is always “I’m just dropping my kid off”.  “No shit.. we all are… but the rest of us aren’t causing a traffic jam in the process”.

What it is, I think, is a sense of entitlement.  They are at the front of that line of cars and they feel no compunction to accommodate the interests of others… they simply feel entitled to the the convenience they want with no regard fro anyone else.

And I find this interesting – this sense of entitlement. The ‘rest of us’ feel self conscious or embarrassed or (god forbid) guilty if we are putting someone else out. The rich don’t seem to feel that way. At a cosmic level they seem to feel, because they have been so successful in life, that they have earned the right to convenience others. They don’t seem to overtly feel they are better or more important than the people they are inconveniencing (we are friends with many of them.. they’re nice people)… they simply don’t think of these people.  They are completely unaware and unconcerned that others are inconvenienced by their actions.

Forgive the rant… I usually don’t write on such topics.  But it is something my wife and I have noticed for a while now so I thought I would share.

A Suitable Gift?

One of my wife’s colleagues is getting married.  She and my wife are quite close – they are friends, they travel together frequently for work and my wife is one of the few workplace friends invited to the wedding.

But, my wife is also her boss. Not her direct boss, but a couple levels higher.

When my wife was thinking about an engagement gift, she was thinking about a subscription to a home-deleivery lingerie service.  She was asking me whether this was appropriate doing from a superior at work.

We tested this on some friends.  They were split.  Some friends said is was a nice and completely approbate gift.  Others thought it was too risqué and crossed a line.

So which is it?  Is a lingerie gift – female to female – inappropriate when it comes to a work colleague/subordinate?