Sexy Shower Show – A Guest Post From My Wife

Ooohhh-la-la … Montreal is known as a steamy, sexy metropolis and for good reason. It has the best strip clubs in North America, the widest array of erotic boutiques, and a population of beautiful people who spend a significant portion of their incomes on fine clothing and going out to see and be seen. This is a city where people watching isn’t a hobby … it’s a passion that can be practiced at elite levels.
My husband and I checked into a funky little boutique hotel in the heart of downtown to start our 24 hour adult adventure. We walked into the room, dropped our bags, and then noticed that beside the bed was a glass wall and, on the other side, was a nice, big walk-in shower, complete with four different shower heads (more on that later). There was a deep red curtain that you could use to cover the window, or that you could draw back when you were ready for the show to begin. What a wicked little smile that put on our faces!
Take a moment to imagine the possibilities …
Later that evening, I put on my first shower show. I tapped on the window to let him know when it was time to open the curtain, and I luxuriated under the hot flowing water. After getting myself nice and soapy, I started to explore the other shower heads. My favourite was a strong little wand you could run over your body, directing the strongly pulsing spray to wherever it felt just right. I lingered with that one and then used it to clear the steam from the window when it got too foggy. It was such a hot scene seeing my husband lying on the bed, enjoying the show, but with a glass window between us. After a nice, long show, I pressed my body against the glass and signaled for him to join me …
As I think back to that shower, I’m imagining how fun it would be if there were 3 or 4 people in the room … two in the shower soaping and enjoying each other, with one or two to watch … the possibilities are incredibly exciting and arousing. It’s time to get back in that shower (maybe for a cold one this time) … once again, Montreal doesn’t disappoint!

Am I Way Off In My Underwear Preferences?

Are men losing their lust for women in thong underwear?

I was shocked to hear on the radio last week that a new poll showed that men prefer – by a wide margin – women in full coverage underwear over thongs.  Apparently only 19% of men preferred the thong.

I was shocked.  My wife was shocked.  The 4-5 people I mentioned it to during the day were surprised.

So I did a little research. The largest poll I could find, done by Huffington Post and Ask Men reassured me somewhat. In that 2015 poll, thong underwear remained the most popular choice amongst googling men. But it was close.  38% of men said there favourite was the thong. Cheeky briefs (boy shorts) were a close second at 34%. I can get that.

Further research made me feel even better. I found the poll referenced by the radio DJs.  HuffPo it was not.  It was a tiny online poll by an obscure blogger that only had a few hundred respondents. Mots of the participants – jokingly I assume – said they preferred granny panties as their top choice.

It took me a while to track down the data, but I will be able to rest easy tonight knowing that the men have not lost their minds – the thong brief still rules supreme as our panty of choice.

And for Dessert… A Lap Dance for Two

My wife and I are in Montreal, Canada for the weekend. It has become a bit of a ritual for us during trips to Montreal – go out for a nice dinner and then go to one of Montreal’s world-famous strip clubs. For a couple trying to keep fun and sexiness in their relationship, I highly recommend it.

Montreal is a city known for its liberal, European flair. People dress stylishly and eat dinner at 9pm; coffee shops serve deep, rich espresso; and people are very comfortable with sex and sexuality.

And their strip clubs are unique and fantastic… especially if you are looking for a classy, comfortable erotic experience.

I can appreciate that, for many people, taking your partner to a strip club is not at the top of your ‘classy date’ list. I beg you to reconsider – providing you can find the right strip club.

What makes a good date strip club… and why is Montreal our favourite strip club city?

The club has to feel like an upscale, yet intimate venue. Two of our favourite Montreal clubs – Club Wanda and Kamasutra – are smallish (space for about 100 patrons) and beautifully decorated. Kamasutra has a deep velvet maharajah theme (a little cheesy but it is nicely done) and Club Wanda is more business professional with large sofas throughout the club. Club Wanda actually has a 5 star restaurant attached, if you want a nice steak dinner before or after your visit. Compare this to many other strip clubs in other cities that are either dirty little holes in the wall or massive industrial ‘strip factories’.
The dancers must be happy. I should have put this first… In my opinion the single biggest contributor to a happy, fun night at a strip club is the vibe the dancers are putting out. There is nothing sexier than an energetic, happy, enthusiastic dancer who is making a good living in a comfortable and respectful work environment. You can’t fake this and the clubs that do not provide this are just sad places to be. For a really insightful article on the struggle many strippers have, read this great New York Times article.
Couples must be made to feel comfortable there. I suspect it is because of Montreal’s liberal sexual politics, but we have found that strip clubs in Montreal (i) often have other couples there… which is nice because even in a nice environment it is easy to feel self conscious if you are the only non-dancer female in the place; and (ii) have dancers who clearly enjoy performing for women and couples.

Find these conditions and you have the recipe for a fun, sexy date. Last night, we arrived relatively early, before the club got too busy. We watched a few dances by beautiful and talented women. We were then approach by a gorgeous olive-skinned woman with bright engaging eyes. She introduced herself and we all chatted for 10 or so minutes about anything from summer travel plans to sexual politics. My wife was clearly smitten with both her appearance, her intelligence and her energy…me too! She then asked if we wanted a dance – We proceeded to 20 minutes of the most sensual, stimulating private dance you can imagine. Shortly thereafter, my wife and I headed back to our hotel for the hottest, fantasy-filled sex you can imagine.

A great night… and one I would highly recommend to any other adventurous couples out there.

Hot Tub Etiquette – What To Wear?

We’re getting a hot tub.  We’ve wanted one for a while, but the environmentalist side of us had always pushed off the decision.  Finally, in the spring, after a brutal 10k run in a raging snow storm, we decided, ethics-be-damned, we were getting a hot tub.  So, by September our backyard will be transformed from badminton court to a hedonistic playground.

So, now comes the hard question.  What do we wear in the hot tub. My wife and I were discussing this last night over dinner, and we came up with 4 scenarios, only one of which presented a real dilemma.

Scenario 1 – Family Fun – Despite our wild fantasy of super-model attended hot tub parties, the reality is that most of our hot tubbing will likely be pretty G rated – with kids and their friends.  This is a no-brainer of course.  My wife has bought, and I have,  a perfectly conservative sports bathing suit that will be suitable attire for family-friendly hot tubbing.

Scenario 2 – Swinger friends – As I have disclosed in previous blogs, we do not swing, but we have a number of friends who do (swingers are great people).  With them, the dress code is equally obvious – nude. They know and respect our rules.

Scenario 3 – Vanilla friends – We have many friends, who we like very much, but are pretty vanilla and conservative.  I can’t imagine (I may be wrong) them getting naked.  When my wife bought her new sports bathing suit she also bought a sexy (but not too sexy) bikini that would be suitable for our less adventurous friends.

Scenario 4 The sex positive friends – These are the hard ones.  We have a number of friends who are very open about sex and we have a fun, flirtatious relationship with them. But we’ve never (or very rarely) been naked together.  We told one of the couples we were getting a hot tub and their immediate reaction was “yay – naked hot tubbing”.  I think this is likely fine, but I’m not positive.  My wife’s initial reaction was of course we’d be all naked together because we already have a sexy and pretty open relationship with them.  I think she’s probably right, but I’m not positive.  Here’s my dilemma…. if there was no sexual flirtation between us, I would say – absolutely, be naked. I am very comfortable with nudity and would be socially naked in pretty much any circumstance were it is appropriate.  There are virtually no friends (no matter how conservative) that I would not hang out with naked if they wanted.  But… with friends with whom their is sexual flirtation, does being naked in a close, boozy, sexually charged environment invite temptation?  I’m unsure.  To be safe, my wife also bought a very sexy, one piece thong mono bikini, thinking that maybe topless hot tubbing could be a sexy, but safer compromise.

I may be (likely am) overthinking this, but such are my Saturday morning coffee musings.

How To Use $800 Ill-Begotten Dollars

Up here in Canada, all of us parents started our summer with a great big(ish) check from our federal government.  Ostensibly, it’s a new child tax credit, retroactive to the beginning of 2015 – 160$ per month for children under 7; 60$ a month for kids 7-18.

Our Prime Minister, Stephen Harper, has spent millions advertising his new plan for returning money to ‘hard working families’.  In reality, it’s a bribe to sweeten his appeal to middle class, suburban voters in advance of this October’s federal election. Politicos will recognize the move – George W sent 200$ checks just before the 2004 election.

Why does this bug me?  An $800 check is a nice thing to get.  For me, it’s the hypocrisy and the regressiveness of the whole thing. Hypocrisy – This gift coming 3 weeks before the election is to be called, and it will throw the government back into a deficit situation… something Harper has been promising to eliminate since he came to power in 2006 (after a liberal government with a long series of surplus budgets). Regressiveness – some people really, really need financial assistance to care for their children…. and some – me included – do not.  For those in need, 60$ a month is not a lot of money… but the $3 billion Harper is spending on this program could buy a lot of day care spaces for low income families or it could subsidize a lot of after school sports programs for kids in disadvantaged neighbourhoods…. but poor families don’t vote.

So, how to spend the $840 we got?  My wife and I were discussing what to do with this money. We came up with some options. The altruistic part of me says donate it to the Liberal Party of Canada – Harper is set to seriously outspend them in the upcoming election, especially since he is calling it 6 weeks earlier to get around the (normally very effective) Canadian election spending limits. A whole bunch of $800 donations would really help. Alternatively, I could find another worthy cause… maybe the Boys and Girls club.

But a big part of me wants to do something that would really piss Harper off. $840 would buy a decent amount of weed and/or a very nice sexual adventure for a couple of over-stressed parents… maybe a visit to the strip club or an erotic massage parlour.  The truth is, like many middle and upper middle class parents, we have the money to care for our kids… what we lack is time and opportunity to have fun, decompress, enjoy the fruits of our hard work.

Maybe that’s the golden ticket… weed and strippers.  Happy parents make happy kids. And if Stephen Harper gets royally pissed off in the process… that’s just the icing on the cake.

Americans are Crazy About Sex (and not in there good way)

I’ve always been morbidly fascinated with the American political right wing’s absolute fascination with all things sexual.  They seem equally fixated and terrified with anything concerning sex or sexuality.

Case in point, three stories on the front page of this morning’s Huffington Post feed:

1. Mike Huckabee, Republican presidential nomination-seeker and former governor of Arkansas, said he would consider using federal troops to prevent women from getting (constitutionally-deemed legal) abortions.  Consider how absolutely insane this proposition is.  Firstly, imagine the first visual of federal reservists surrounding, at gun-point, a 19 year old pregnant woman trying to access an abortion clinic… great PR!! for Prez Huck. Secondly, 11,000 Americans are killed, and 85,000 injured each year by gun violence; natural disaster damage is at all-time highs and disaster response woefully inadequate – can’t we put our local troops and reservists to better use?  And finally, and this may be the most important – these abortions are legal. Aren’t the Republicans the ones who are supposed to care about the Constitution?

2. A moral rights coalition has convinced Hanfords and Rite Aide – national grocery and pharmaceutical chains – to deem Cosmopolitan magazine to be pornography. As such, Cosmo will now be placed behind an opaque covering in the most out-of-reach section of the magazine rack, with Penthouse, Hustler and other ‘nudie mags’. I suspect this is a convert plot to get better retail display positioning for Guns and Ammo – a more morally appropriate publication, according to our friends at the family values coalition.

3. New stats are out on HPV vaccination rates.  Once again, America legs behind almost all other developed countries with 40% of adolescent girls still not getting vaccinated.  Apparently, the risk of cervical cancer is far preferable to a (completely unsubstantiated) risk of their daughters becoming more promiscuous.  Important to note, a Canadian study, based on real data, showed conclusively that HPV vaccination had no impact whatsoever on teen promiscuity.  But that’s just facts, evidence and data.

So… America continues.

To say they “Doth Protest Too Much” is too easy.