Where Are All the Topless Women?

About 10 years ago, there was a series of court cases across Canada that attacked municipal public indecency bylaws; specifically, these court cases challenged laws that made it an offense for women to be topless in public.  The court, siding with the women bringing the cases, overturned the bylaws, ruling that the right of a woman to go topless was hers, and not for government to forbid.

Women were pretty happy with the decision, rightly seeing it as a victory over patriarchal discrimination.  As a young man, who had not seen a lot of boobs, I was overjoyed.  I thought Canadian beaches, parks and maybe, just maybe, even restaurants and grocery stores would be transformed into the French Riviera, overflowing with topless women (maybe even with thong monokinis to accentuate the look).

So where is the toplessness?  In the ten years since this victory for women’s right and freedom I have barely seen a single topless woman on a Canadian beach, and certainly never at the grocery store.  And the few I have see…. not the toplessness I was hoping for (if you know what I mean).

When women won the right to vote, there was a rush to the voting booth.  Come on….

 

If You Found Handcuffs On Your Son’s Bed…

I heard a funny story recently. A friend was helping his son move – from an apartment he was staying in for his summer job back to his university. He was taking apart the bed and noticed two pairs of handcuffs attached to the headboard. It was an awkward moment, but they laughed it off.

As he told me this, it made me think of how much more kids/young adults know sexually than we/I did at that age. When I was 19, the thought of handcuffs in the bedroom never crossed my mind. I don’t think I was even aware that it was ‘a thing’. And, had I been aware, I can’t imaging that I would have every tried to pull it off with someone.

It made me wonder two things:

1. Are kids more sexually bold and aware at a younger age and are, therefore, open to a range of kinks much earlier than we were a generation (or half generation) ago; or

2. Has the definition of kink just changed. While I consider handcuffs in the bedroom pretty kinky, maybe it is now just kind of vanilla+, thanks to the popularity of books like 50 Shades.

So, what do you think? Has vanilla sex expanded to include some light bondage or are kids getting into really kinky stuff earlier. Your thoughts are appreciated.

If You Found Handcuffs On Your Son’s Bed…

I heard a funny story recently. A friend was helping his son move – from an apartment he was staying in for his summer job back to his university. He was taking apart the bed and noticed two pairs of handcuffs attached to the headboard. It was an awkward moment, but they laughed it off.

As he told me this, it made me think of how much more kids/young adults know sexually than we/I did at that age. When I was 19, the thought of handcuffs in the bedroom never crossed my mind. I don’t think I was even aware that it was ‘a thing’. And, had I been aware, I can’t imaging that I would have every tried to pull it off with someone.

It made me wonder two things:

1. Are kids more sexually bold and aware at a younger age and are, therefore, open to a range of kinks much earlier than we were a generation (or half generation) ago; or

2. Has the definition of kink just changed. While I consider handcuffs in the bedroom pretty kinky, maybe it is now just kind of vanilla+, thanks to the popularity of books like 50 Shades.

So, what do you think? Has vanilla sex expanded to include some light bondage or are kids getting into really kinky stuff earlier. Your thoughts are appreciated.

Did We Try A Thresome?

I had posted a couple weeks ago about a threesome opportunity that had presented itself to my wife and I.

At the time, we were considering whether this was a good idea. We were certainly intrigued and I decided to ‘crowd source’ some advice. There may be some selection bias amongst readers of my blog (you’re a pretty sex positive lot) but the overwhelming advice was to go for it. There, of course, wise cautions and considerations, but by-and-large readers seemed to think it was a good idea.

So, we decided to give it a whirl. To be honest, we weren’t worried about some of the typical issues – jealousy or impact on our relationship. We were worried about her (the third’s) expectations and whether we would all like each other.

So, how did it go?

It didn’t.

Shortly after we got back to our friend saying we were into it, our friend had to back out, at least temporarily – there was a death in her family that both drew her time and emotional energy and – very legitimately – put her into an unsexy mood.

We’ll see if things re-ignite.

UK University Study Finds Teen Males Pester Girls for Sex…

A study from London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine found “an unsettling narrative” at university campuses, wherein boys would repeatedly ask for sex, and even if denied would continue to ask

From the study:
“The overwhelming feeling from the people who had engaged in anal sex was that it exists in a coercive environment. There was this idea that women basically wouldn’t want to do it and that she needed to be persuaded,” said Marston. “They also talked about it as though it was completely normal for men to repeatedly ask their girlfriends for it and repeatedly be told no, but keep asking.”

Duh

It has always been this way. As teenagers begin to develop interests in sex, they push the boundaries and see what they can get. They ask, they are told no, they ask again. This was true of a kiss on the porch, and it is true of anal sex. This is not new or surprising.

Personally, I am not into anal sex. My wife doesn’t like it, and I am pretty indifferent to it. But if I was, you can bet I would ask for it and negotiate, and communicate. Isn’t this what relationships are about. Being clear on your needs and wants — communications and negotiations.

….in a related study, UK researchers found that a child asked for candy… was told no… and never asked again.

UK University Study Finds Teen Males Pester Girls for Sex…

A study from London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine found “an unsettling narrative” at university campuses, wherein boys would repeatedly ask for sex, and even if denied would continue to ask

From the study:
“The overwhelming feeling from the people who had engaged in anal sex was that it exists in a coercive environment. There was this idea that women basically wouldn’t want to do it and that she needed to be persuaded,” said Marston. “They also talked about it as though it was completely normal for men to repeatedly ask their girlfriends for it and repeatedly be told no, but keep asking.”

Duh

It has always been this way. As teenagers begin to develop interests in sex, they push the boundaries and see what they can get. They ask, they are told no, they ask again. This was true of a kiss on the porch, and it is true of anal sex. This is not new or surprising.

Personally, I am not into anal sex. My wife doesn’t like it, and I am pretty indifferent to it. But if I was, you can bet I would ask for it and negotiate, and communicate. Isn’t this what relationships are about. Being clear on your needs and wants — communications and negotiations.

….in a related study, UK researchers found that a child asked for candy… was told no… and never asked again.

Why? (A Question for Non-Naturists)

Asian American Naturist

If our own bodies are "wrong" then all is lost.                                                     If our own bodies are “wrong” then all is lost

I was driving down the street, on a very hot day, and thought to myself “why?” Why is the nude body so offensive? Why is nudity so shocking? How is someone injured by seeing someone naked?

Is it because nudity causes sexuality? Maybe in Western cultures, but most indigenous people live in the nude without it being sexual. To indigenous people, nudity is just an everyday thing.

Is it like religious leaders say, nudity causes lust, and seeing a naked person causes people to lose self-control. I thought about that too, but I can control my own sexuality and so can most people. Plus there have been many times where I’ve been attracted to…

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