Schedule your own Sexapolooza

This morning when I woke up, my wife was just coming out of the shower and she crawled into bed and whispered into my ear: “did you get the announcement; tonight is Sexapolooza at [XXX our address].  

As I have blogged before, we have young kids and busy lives, but my wife and I place an emphasis on making sure we make time for our relationship, sexual and otherwise.  We make sure we fit in date nights out and evenings at home, after the kids have gone to bed, to enjoy each others company privately.  This has lead us to have a really strong relationship and sex life, but I do feel that I often initiate more than her.  So, one of my favourite things is when she initiates a sexual adventure – either at home or when we go out.  

This weekend, we wanted to get baby-sitting and go out tonight, but we just couldn’t line up a sitter.  Our kids were both up later than they usually are last night, so they will be in bed early tonight. That means we will have time for a nice night.  We have a good selection of sexy games and other sexual and/or romantic things that we will sometimes pull out when we want to make a full sexy evening.  I am very excited to see what she comes up with.

Keeping Up With the Jones’ – Daily Prompt

I have never taken up one of the WordPress Daily Prompts, but I liked this one on asking us to write on that which we covet; things I see others having, but which I lack.  

I COVET Martians! Sounds crazy, but let me explain

For me, it is nothing material.  My wife and I have pretty decent incomes and, as environmentally-concerned people, we try to keep our material needs in check.  I once had a neighbour say he was a bit envious of how little we cared about having expensive ‘glamour stuff’.  He readily admits he is up to his ass in debt and bought his new mercedes and high end SUV because he is hyper aware that people in our hood drive nice cars.  He was embarrassed about caring but he does care. We, on the other hand, are a one-car – VW Sports Wagon – family.  Not that I am a saint.  We spent a thousand dollars on an espresso machine, but I would have been perfectly happy not to if we could not afford it.  So my wants are not material.

We do love to travel, but our limiting factor on that is not money. What I lack is the time. Between work and family (both of which I honestly really enjoy and would not choose to do a minute less doing), it is hard to fit in all of the things I would love to do more of. I have blogged on this before, but my wife and I work very hard to balance: family, work, health/fitness, relationship/sexuality and other hobbies.  I would LOVE to have an extra hour or so every day.

The theme of the Daily Prompt is Keeping Up to The Jones and what do you covet that others have.  Obviously no one has a 25 hour day…. unless you live on Mars.  A day on Mars is almost 25 hours.  That is what I want – the day that Martians have.

Educating our Kids on Sex

ImageSex Ed is certainly a controversial topic, and finding balanced, non-values laden information is not easy.  As parents of two pre-teen girls, my wife and I are trying to come to grips with the correct approach on taking to our kids about sex.  While we consider ourselves very sexually liberated, we also admit that we are on the protective side of the parenting spectrum (not specifically regarding sex, but in general).

So, how to handle sex ed with our children?  Firstly, and most obviously, we have tried to create a relationship with our kids where they are open to speaking with us about anything.  I honestly think we have done a pretty good job at this, but I have to be objective and realize that when it comes to sex, our oldest daughter in particular just doesn’t want to talk about it; she thinks is yucky and too weird to talk about.  On this issue, I am reminded of a line by Dan Savage  (http://www.savagelovecast.com) where he says something to the effect of:  you don’t talk to your kids about sex, because they don’t want to talk to you about it. You talk at them, and when you do so – be honest that you are going to tell them some stuff they need to know, that they don;t want to hear from you, but that you are going to tell them anyway.  We plan to use this approach on our eldest – we will see how it works.

Secondly, what do you tell them?  We have found a couple good sources we think we will reply on.  The first is a resource (and book) by Planned Parenthood (http://www.plannedparenthood.org/parents/talking-kids-about-sex-sexuality-37962.htm) that seems to be very practical and of a neutral but informative tone.  The second resource I came across and wanted to share is something called the media project (http://www.themediaproject.com/home.htm) which contains a wealth of facts and data on sexual health, issues and education, aimed at educating youth people.

This is a very new phase for us, so we will see how it goes, but it is good to see there are good resources out there.

If the boat ain’t rockin’…

excellent advice…

sexdownunder

Rome visit, June 2008 - 57

I often see couples whose relationship has improved to the point that the main tension is gone, who are suddenly afraid to address underlying issues in case they suddenly, “rock the boat”.

Fear that addressing the underlying issues may push the relationship back into turmoil in effect halts the relationship from progressing.  This avoidance approach almost always paves the way for old patterns to return.

I’m not suggesting that you embrace arguing and conflict but I’m also saying not to avoid it.  It’s not the amount of arguing that’s the issue but how the arguing is done!  So, how do I suggest you argue?

Firstly, try identifying what the issue is.  It sounds obvious but we often start an argument by being indirect. For instance saying, “you’re lazy” will almost always result in defensiveness and return criticism.  Instead saying, “it’d make me feel a lot more relaxed and happy if…

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TALKING TO YOUR DAUGHTER (OR ANYBODY) ABOUT FITNESS

interesting points on speaking to your kids about fitness. I have tried some of them

GREAT RIVER FITNESS


Excellent article by Brynn Harrington on how to talk to your daughter about fitness. It is important to instill a healthy attitude toward fitness as soon as possible in child development, and to keep that value nurtured throughout their growth. For girls, it is especially important as society pressures them to value the number on a weight scale over their time on the mile, maximum reps numbers, and other numbers that tell them they are capable! That said, her main points are good for talking to ANYONE about fitness! Her main points are:

1.Strength equals self-sufficiency.
2.Fitness opens doors.
3.The bike is the new golf course.
4.Exercise is a lifestyle, not an event.
5.Health begets health.
6.Endorphins help you cope.
7.Working out signals hard-working.
8.If you feel beautiful, you look beautiful.
9.Nature rules.
10.Little eyes are always watching.

You can read the full article HERE!

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